Recovering alcoholic
A little bit about me and my chaotic mind behind my chaotic ramblings.
I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’ll be five, I hate that expression, not sure why I used it, but anyway, I’ll have been sober for 5 years on the 14 of January this year, after basically 20 years. I am ashamed to say this as I’m a mother and I love my children more than anything in the world, but they have stood by me and have been and are still so supportive and loving to me, more than I deserve. They are the reason I managed to stop and the reason I carried on living when I just couldn’t find the strength to stop the evil drinking.
I think being an alcoholic is like being a diabetic in a sense, my mum was a recovered alcoholic (but she had a few slips )
I have seen her in some terrible states at her worst, most of it went on in my teens which didn’t help, the humiliation and embarresment was baaaad for me and my brother, but at that time we never knew what was the matter with her, just thought she was a drunkard
after lots of water under the bridge I grew up and realised what alcaholism is and realised how difficult it was for her to admit it
she wasn’t an angel, she was a naughty but nice person when she was sober, not so nice when drunk
sorry to go on and on, should be putting this all on MY blog
anyway your children obviously understand and you deserve every bit of love they give you
they must be proud of your achievement
you sound like a lovely person
and a lovely mum and grandmother
sjoukes
sj, you also sound like a lovely person, and it was very fortunate for your mother that you eventually understood the problem, but I always say it’s not up to other people to understand us, they have enough to put up with as it is, living with an alcoholic. My children also had it while they were growing up and would totally identify with the feelings you had at the time.
It’s not a nice life and I bet your mother regrets things every bit as much as I do.
I wish I had not put my children through it, but the only thing I can do now is to be the best mother I can be, and that’s not that good:-)
But I’m so grateful that they do love me and have stuck by me.
Thanks for your lovely words, and I wish the best for you and your mother.
xx
I have panic attacks too and they are no fun. I do hope you’ll be able to get out more and enjoy the company of your granddaughters. There have been times where I avoided contact because the attacks were so bad. I wound up in the hospital once.
I have also taken a stiff drink here and there to quell the panic but it’s not a real solution. Glad you stopped drinking and hope that you are able to beat this thing and get out there.
Hi Ricardo, thanks for your lovely comment. Sorry I have been off line for a while and that’s why I am replying very late.
I hope I can get out this year, and I hope that you are able to see the back of your attacks. They really are awful aren’t they.
How are you now?
Take care
Linda