Here’s Lionel, my study buddy, helping as usual:-)

And this is my beloved Timmy, who died last year.  

 The next pics are just nice ones that I’ve taken of the garden, cats, or any etc’s.

WHY IS THERE NO CONTINUITY OF FORMATTING ON THIS DAMN BLOG?!?!

I was thinking about my life today.

Took that out of the title of my blog. 

 Well, that’s my day done, how about you?

I’m more depressed than grumpy today, miss my girls.  Tried to put my mind to studying but philosophy is getting the better of me.  Who would know that you can have positive and negative freedom and that the positive kind does more bad than the other kind.

 You learn something new everyday, well you do when you’re studying, that’s for sure.

I have my trusty study buddy on my bed, must get some pics on here.  He’s a big cuddly ginger…

cat, ha ha.  That was my joke for the day, said in monotone dull voice.

Heading 3 makes the font bigger but sticks all the lines close together and doesn’t look nice.  Bummer!!

Not sure if the two are related but since I’ve stopped drinking my panic attacks worsened to the point where I’ve only been out of the house a few times in the past two years, the last time was about a year ago.

It hurts that I can’t go anywhere with my beautiful granddaughters, shopping, walks, the park, just being able to be with them and my other children.  Doing simple things like going for a meal, or for coffee, or just visiting.  Some days I feel positive that I will get over this, and others I feel I never will.

I want to make this year a year when I succeed in some way to getting out of the house.

A little bit about me and my chaotic mind behind my chaotic ramblings.

I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’ll be five, I hate that expression, not sure why I used it, but anyway, I’ll have been sober for 5 years on the 14 of January this year, after basically 20 years. I am ashamed to say this as I’m a mother and I love my children more than anything in the world, but they have stood by me and have been and are still so supportive and loving to me, more than I deserve. They are the reason I managed to stop and the reason I carried on living when I just couldn’t find the strength to stop the evil drinking.

I apologise in advance for the next few blogs. WordPress is new to me and I’m finding it hard to work it out, not being gifted in the quick brain department, so I’ll be playing around with settings and I hope it doesn’t detract from the enormously interested content:-)
Perhaps I need to learn more html and put the font type in code.

Heading 3 seems to be about the right size, so will stick to that for now.

Interflora eat your heart out!!  These were picked for me by little granddaughter in the garden.  She brought them in and held them up to me so proud and pleased that she’d picked them herself.

A precious moment indeed.

My fish have gone:-(  There’s just a big empty hole in the ground now where they were only this morning swimming happily.

I’m happy that the man who picked them up is a fish lover and has rescued fish and loves them, so they are going to a good home, but it’s sad to see an end to something that brought much pleasure.

Feeling: sad but happy they will be well looked after